Building a lasting legacy for future generations is something that mothers often think about. What legacy will they leave behind for their children? Legacy building isn’t just about grand gestures or leaving material wealth; it’s about the values, traditions, and life lessons we impart daily to our children. It is easy to summarize what legacy is in a couple of sentences. The reality of achieving this lofty goal is daunting.
For most mothers, you have no idea if you managed it until the children are grown and making decisions on their own. Sometimes even your best efforts seem to backfire. Children show up with their own set of attributes, strengths, and personalities. Those who are typically developing are usually less difficult to mold with the right set of tools. But more and more, we are realizing that there are a lot of neuro-atypical children who need extra care and help. We must plot a path for all these children, the ones God has given us.
Sometimes, we do not have a definite plan because life is so busy, and we are just trying to survive. Remember that, ultimately, only what you do today adds to your legacy for your children. Making a plan is one thing; then, you must go and live the day. As my soccer coach used to say, you can only score a goal if you attempt it. But even in soccer, many goals occurred ‘by the grace of God’. This is the reality of most of our attempts at leaving a lasting legacy: you shoot for it, knowing that there is a lot of grace from God involved.
Here are some practical steps in your journey of legacy building, a rough guide to help you create a meaningful impact that will resonate for generations.
Balancing the demands of daily life with the desire to leave a lasting legacy can be challenging. Between managing work, household responsibilities, and parenting, it can feel overwhelming to think about the long-term impact of our actions. Many mothers worry about not leaving a meaningful legacy, fearing that their efforts might be overshadowed by the chaos of everyday life. The pressure to be everything at once—an effective parent, a successful professional, and a legacy builder—can lead to feelings of inadequacy and doubt. When you have a clear understanding of the legacy you want to leave behind, it tends to fill you with purpose. It motivates you to make choices and decisions that align with your values. When you make decisions that are aligned with your values, you are less likely to be anxious and depressed.
Building a lasting legacy is an ongoing process rooted in the small but meaningful actions you take each day. Here are seven practical steps to take as a mother to build a lasting legacy.
1) Values and Principles for Building a Lasting Legacy
Values and principles, such as integrity, kindness, and perseverance, are some of the most enduring legacies you can leave. By modeling these values in your life, you teach your children how to navigate the world with compassion and strength. I am constantly amazed when I encounter a mother or father in my office who gives me a variation of “I tell my children to do what I say, not what I do.” It will not work. Children are much more adept at imitation than at listening. Unless they have a better model or example elsewhere, they will do what you do. One mother told me about a bad habit she has. My summary assessment is she has a habit of yelling at people when she does not get her way. She then stated that ‘luckily her daughter is nothing like her.’ To which her 11-year-old answered ‘you embarrass me’. She said it quietly and with fear. This was not the eye-rolling, loving ‘oh mom’ thing that teenagers and preteens do when we attempt to sing or attempt an accent we are bad at. This was a heart-rending ‘my mother makes me sad.’ We had a long discussion that day. Sometimes, we need guidance when we forget what we are ultimately building in our children’s lives and how our actions impact our children.
2) Education and Knowledge for Building a Lasting Legacy
Education and knowledge that fosters a love for learning is a legacy that can open doors for your children throughout their lives. Encouraging curiosity, supporting their academic pursuits, and teaching them to think critically are gifts that last a lifetime. Every child should attain the highest level of education they are able or led to achieve. I am often saddened by a mother or father who did not go to college even though they desired it because no one cared or because their parents made decisions that did not end in the ability for them to continue in school, or for various other reasons intrinsic (parents could have done something about it) or extrinsic (socioeconomic forces at play that the family was unable to overcome). This often results in a long discussion about how, as parents, they can do things differently. There is always a discussion of our efforts associated with God’s grace, which abounds when we prayerfully put plans in place to allow our children to excel.
3) Tradition and Rituals for Building a Lasting Legacy
Traditions and rituals strengthen the bond between family members and reinforce a sense of identity and belonging. Whether it’s a weekly family dinner, holiday traditions, or special rituals for celebrating milestones, these practices help your children feel connected to something larger than themselves. Make good traditions and propagate the good parts of your culture. Some cultures have detrimental parts that must be eliminated as part of one’s legacy.
But why should you teach your children anything about their culture? In a world marked by racial and cultural tension, why teach children their differences instead of focusing on what makes us the same? Because it is in the beauty of knowing who one is that a lasting legacy can be built. Is there a dance, a language, a festival that is part of who your family is? Teach it. Go to an event and immerse them in the culture, if possible. As it depends on you, make family important; even the extended family that might get on your nerves is important to your children. Do not let petty quarrels prevent a real relationship with grandparents. Put yourself in a good place about this. If there are serious concerns, then these should be addressed. You may be justified in not fostering the relationship. Maybe. Because my family is scattered around the globe, my children travel a lot. It was important, and it was a priority. What seems impossible often becomes possible with planning.
4) Practical Life Skills for Building a Lasting Legacy
Practical life skills, such as cooking, budgeting, problem-solving, and time management, prepare your children for the challenges of adulthood. Teaching these skills empowers them to live independently and confidently. If you don’t have those skills, such as ‘I am so bad with money,’ learn. There are so many free resources around!
5) Unconditional Love and Support for Building a Lasting Legacy
Unconditional love and support provide a foundation to build your child’s self-worth and resilience. Knowing they are loved for who they are, not just for what they do, gives them the strength to face life’s challenges. Studies have shown that youth connectedness is an essential protective factor for health and well-being. It reduces the likelihood of a variety of health risk behaviors.
Connectedness refers to a sense of being cared for and belonging. Feeling connected at home is extremely important. Once in a while, when I see a child in the office for problem behaviors, I always ask the parent to tell me three good things about their amazing child. This is often the beginning of a transformation in the home and in the child’s trajectory after any neurodevelopmental issues are addressed. Sometimes, parents would have to go home and do homework on the question because they can’t think of any goodness in their child. Stop now and identify at least three extraordinary things in each of your children. Do it now. You will be amazed by how that changes your thoughts about a child you are struggling with.
6) Philanthropy and Community Involvement for Building a Lasting Legacy
Philanthropy and community involvement mean modeling a commitment to giving back and serving others, which teaches your children the importance of empathy and community. Involving them in volunteer work and charitable activities shows them how to impact their world positively. Teach them to tithe. Legacy is promoted when you exemplify a giving spirit.
Building a Lasting Legacy – Final Thoughts
Building a lasting legacy as a mother involves small, intentional steps that make a big impact.
Set daily intentions to model values and principles you want your children to embrace. Whether showing kindness to others, practicing honesty, or demonstrating perseverance, these actions speak louder than words. The things you do today and every ‘today’ after this one are the ones that build legacy. Use the above list as a guide to look at and pray over daily, then go forth and win the day.
Regularly reflect on and pray over the legacy you are building and make adjustments as needed. Legacy building is an ongoing process that evolves with time and experience. Don’t give
Join us next week as we explore another aspect of legacy building.
